Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Next Step or the First Step?

The Airbus A340 whined before taking off from Boston and broke my train of thought. It was a quick flashback, as if a new life was about to unfold.

I recently quit my job, sold all my belongings on ebay and craigslist, donated four bags full of clothes, and packed a suitcase for my journey. My closest friends and my brother came to see me off at the airport. My days prior to my departure from Cambridge were full of lunches and dinners with friends, who wanted to know what my plan was. I had no plan.

I backpacked in Europe a couple of times without any plan for weeks. How is this trip different?

On all those trips, I was searching for something, a deeper purpose and meaning to my life.
This time, I knew it and this is my first step towards it. I felt that I did not need a plan and with that came a sense of openness, magnanimity, and surrender. The pleasure of seeing it unfold over time, while being in action 100% brought a sense of relaxation. Sometimes, the journey is more important than the destination.

After experiencing the powerful and relaxing Sudarshan Kriya technique at the age of 19, my rational mind and strong intellect struggled with the concept of a spiritual Guru for years. I continued my journey during my Ph.D. years at Georgia Tech. I heard of  marketing gurus, investment gurus, advertising gurus, and what not... but as soon as the mention of a spiritual guru came, phrases like 'I don't need that', 'Old people have time for that', 'I am too smart to believe what someone else is saying' came to my mind. I never doubted the idea of seeking a coach for swimming or playing table-tennis (ping-pong!!) but when it came to having a coach, a master, for my own mind, there was resistance.

In my last 10 years of observing my mind with awareness and meditation, I  realized that mind is one of the most complicated things to manage. Neither at school, nor in top-notch colleges or so-called top universities in the world does anyone teach how to manage our mind and emotions. Yet, there is an expectation not to be sad, not to be angry, not to be frustrated... but how?

Recently, I had a conversation with my spiritual master, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, in Boone NC. He gave me a specific arrival date (May 25) at the International Art of Living Center in Bangalore, India. Turns out May 25 is Buddha Purnima - the day Buddha was born, the day he got enlightened, and the day he left his body. On Buddha Purnima, the moon is 20% brighter than other full moon nights in the year. Before Buddha became Buddha, he was Siddhartha. He was wandering, had tried everything but he couldn't find. He had that spirit of enquiry. It is said that everybody has a little Buddha (in the form of Siddhartha) inside of us, only he has to wake up. When Siddhartha got tired of trying this and that, running from pillar to post, technique after technique and nothing worked, he dropped everything. It is said that he got enlightened at that moment.

The mind turned inward.

I am so lucky to arrive at the Bangalore Ashram on this beautiful full-moon night. I am greeted with a big smile at 3:30 am. The moment I step in here, I know I am taken care of even more.

May 26, 2013

12 comments:

Kishor Govind Nayar said...

Awesome :)

Unknown said...

very well written, anuj

Anonymous said...

I am glad you decided to follow this path. Opting out of the rat race isn't easy. All the best! Wait, for what? I guess you already have the best!

Unknown said...

Such a well written article...wish you the best in life and hope you accomplish all the more in the path that you have opted for!!

Unknown said...

I will add very touching article... showing your true self

Manuj Madan said...

Very well spent time in Boston with dearest brother...May all your botheration drop away and laughing Buddha come out...

EnergyMBA said...

Nicely composed Anuj!Looking forward to read more about your updates.

Unknown said...

Very refreshing and interesting, Anuj! Look forward to reading about more experiences of yours :)

Jane said...

Now I understand why you seemed to keep part of yourself in reserve. I felt you watching but holding a little separate. Thank you for sharing and allowing your self to shine through!!!xxjp

Jane said...

Now I understand why you seemed to keep part of yourself in reserve. I felt you watching but holding a little separate. Thank you for sharing and allowing your self to shine through!!!xxjp

shankster said...

JGD!!!

shankster said...

JGD!!!